Tesla’s Los Angeles Diner: A Trojan Horse and a Call to Action

      Tesla

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      The recent news surrounding Tesla has been less than favorable. Sales are declining, the CEO is engaged in a conflict with the highest office in the nation, and investors are beginning to question whether the company’s leadership can rise to the occasion. Yet, in the midst of all this, Tesla seems to have rolled out something new for a change. Unfortunately, it’s not a vehicle.

      Tesla's latest initiative is marketed as a “diner and drive-in,” situated on Santa Monica Boulevard (the site of a former Shakey’s), which positions it more as a suburban eatery and retail spot than a convenient service option. Under pressure to increase turnover and profitability, Tesla is implementing congestion fees to encourage customers to spend less time at the location. What started as an upscale charging concept has turned into a fast-casual restaurant in disguise.

      In keeping with its “drive-in” concept, customers can place orders directly from their vehicles and receive service upon arrival. The innovative kitchen even organizes orders based on driving distance, prioritizing those who arrive first, while delaying meal preparation for longer-distance drivers to ensure freshness—and to clear out existing customers for new arrivals.

      The optimization aspect fits Tesla's brand in a casual way, but what does this initiative actually offer the company? We've seen similar concepts before. Superchargers made sense, but then came the tunneling project, followed by flamethrowers and tequila. Teslas were intended to be the subway; now they're going head-to-head with Subway. What gives?

      I can’t help but wonder how any of this connects back to selling Cybertrucks. A marketer could spin the idea of exclusivity, but Tesla is peddling basic fare, not gourmet options. Moreover, this concept isn’t innovative. The truck stop has been around since the end of World War II. Even setting aside America’s widespread rest stop food courts, smaller establishments like Wawa and Sheetz have been providing made-to-order meals while customers refuel for years, and some even offer basic dining areas. The main difference is that Tesla provides vertical integration, offering the car, the fuel, snacks, and a cohesive experience—all in one package.

      Above all, this represents a revenue stream, which comes at a crucial time. Revenue growth from car sales is becoming increasingly challenging for Tesla, whose sales figures have been declining longer than investors would prefer. With federal EV incentives disappearing later this year, Tesla will earn even less from each vehicle sold. So, hamburgers it is. But how scalable is this?

      As a Hollywood attraction, the Tesla Diner might find success. However, as a parody of a true service model, its emphasis on table turnover supersedes any genuine commitment to serving the community it claims to cater to. There’s little opportunity for relaxation; it’s strictly about return on investment. Tesla owners are already manipulating the system by arriving with their batteries nearly depleted, elongating their visits without incurring late penalties.

      So, why, in a country where entire industries have emerged around the mandatory refueling of vehicles, are so many people pretending that parking lots filled with fast chargers are the ideal solution? America is home to Buc-ee’s and roadhouses. We were perfecting this concept long before Europe was involved in conflict. So why have we become so inadequate at it?

      When I examine Tesla’s vehicles, I see promising ideas wrapped in questionable execution. The Diner is no exception. There is a glimmer of genius within, but it lacks the right environment to thrive. Hopefully, someone will nurture this idea and restore the “rest” in “rest stop.”

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